I hobbled down to the water’s edge, carefully making my way over the steep sand bank that together with torn apart palapas and various floating debris were left behind in the wake of Mexico’s recent hurricane Patricia.
I had not seen the ocean in almost two years since moving to central Mexico in March of 2014. Why we decided to travel on the heels of a hurricane, is well, nothing I can explain with good reason.
I wanted nothing more but to run and jump and splash around, but my brain and my body were not fully coordinating yet since my recent spinal surgery. In fact, they felt much like that marred beach.
Upon meeting the water’s edge, I immediately realized that the strength of the current and the weight of the waves were just too much for my fragile balance and still very present pain. Frustrated, defeated and disheartened, I returned to sit down on the sand and had a good cry behind the partial concealment of my sunglasses.
The Ocean, My Refuge
As a little girl growing up across from Windansea Beach in La Jolla, the ocean used to lullaby me to sleep. Laying in the solitude of my bedroom, the ebb and flow of the waves would create a perceptible aura of magic and safety. She was my surrogate parent, an ultimate soother and a safe refuge in a house of conflict and divorce.
My kids played, swam, laughed and splashed around with their dad to their heart’s content. While failing at my attempts to choke back the tears, this display of love and unbridled joy gifted me great happiness in an otherwise very challenging first afternoon in Manzanillo.
I would like to chalk my emotional response up to just having had a shitty attitude, but truth be told, my recovery has been no small walk in the park. Being next to an underwater adventure-land was just more of an in-my-face reminder of my physical limitations. I have had to dig deep to get through this, every single day…every single step. And I will.
Life can change on a dime, often, when you least expect it or have not “prepared for it”. Health issues, deaths of loved ones, heart-stopping news–events and passages that are all part of this dynamic, challenging kaleidoscope of life in its many dimensions.
This scouting trip to Manzanillo has ultimately resulted in our decision to not move here–at least not for now. And that’s okay. Some plans are made and kept, others change or get adjusted, and others..just completely rerouted.
We are not trees, planted in one place forever. Technically, even a tree can be uprooted and relocated, but that’s a topic for another day.
My most immediate focus is on continuing to regain my strength and health and being present for and supportive of my family as we join hands during another phase of transition and discovery.
I know there are many of you out there–both silent and public–that have followed and supported us since I first began Los O’Gradys in Mexico 3 years ago. I am deeply humbled and grateful for your readership, friendship and support.
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